Everything is now up for grabs. Back in play are all the things that I once pushed away because I had wanted to move on.

I went to BYG tonight for the first time in two years. During that time, Myung would periodically tell me about former students, now in college, no longer going to church or getting caught up in some sort of foolishness. And I couldn't help but wonder whether my years as a youth group teacher were a waste of time. Maybe they were. Who knows? What I do know, however, is that I sat through a Bible study and listened to kids ask thoughtful questions and make clear points. And I spent a long car ride home with Myung, and we didn't talk about food or exercise or work or condos. It was a good night.

On Thursday, I saw an amateur production of Wit. Near the end of the play, one of the characters reads an abbreviated version of the children's book, The Runaway Bunny.

Once there was a little bunny who wanted to run away.
So he said to his mother, "I am running away."
"If you run away," said his mother, "I will run after you. For you are my little bunny."

"If you run after me," said the little bunny, "I will become a fish in a trout stream and I will swim away from you."
"If you become a fish in a trout stream," said his mother, "I will become a fisherman and I will fish for you."

"If you become a fisherman," said the little bunny, "I will be a bird and fly away from you."
"If you become a bird and fly away from me," said his mother, "I will be a tree that you come home to."

"Shucks," said the little bunny, "I might just as well stay where I am and be your little bunny."

And so he did.

"Have a carrot," said the mother bunny.

It was a good carrot.

I'm a bit wary of writing about my condo search, and only part of it has to do with worrying about encouraging more of Myung's "condom?!" jokes. I can't help but feel like it'll just be a retread of my old stuff about finding an apartment or shoes or small-things-as-metaphor-for-BIG-things.

But searching I have been, and I've seen some spacious homes in some scary neighborhoods, and some bedraggled holes in some tony enclaves. A realtor has been showing me around, and we may have found the right place earlier today. It seems to have everything I'm looking for, although the cost is on the high side and I can reach out the window and touch the highway.

As we were driving around, the realtor, a quiet Korean man around my dad's age, and coincidentally, the father of a casual friend of mine from high school/college, started talking about how time passes so fast.

"Where did the time go? What did I do with my life? I wish I could do it over again. Maybe I can do better," he said with a laugh.

I didn't really know what to say. Nor did I know what stirred his soul to look back on the string of chances and choices that we call life. Lord knows I've had the same thoughts, and I'm half his age. But I know I don't want to be looking over my shoulder with regret and turn back around only to find that I've already reached the finish.

First, a dramatization of the comments section:

Myung: Don't judge me, friend!

Iris: I'm not your friend, buddy!

Myung: I'm not your buddy, guy!

Iris: I'm not your guy, friend!

Aaaand scene.

Second, if you ever text me a medical question:

Myung: What am I eating too much of if my butt hole hurts when I am pooping? Protein?

Me: Teh gay

Did everyone collectively decide that no response is the new black? Because I find it a little annoying.

Also, I am in need of a companion to a wedding that I foolishly agreed to go to. If any of the three of you that are reading this can help, well, it probably won't be the ones that are in other time zones. So Myung, help a brother out.

Tomorrow is the last day of medical school rotations for me. Graduation is in a month. It's been something. Yeah.

30 yo M post-op day #21 s/p hopectomy

Pt w/o complaints. Wound clean/dry/intact.

Continue present management.