Ah! Trauma, again! If I don't go to sleep, will tomorrow not come?

I was sick during my entire stay-cation and it got worse as the week went on. On Sunday night, I thought I was going to die. I was shivering from chills, sweated through my shirt, and dry heaved over the toilet. I kind of wished I had somebody with whom to share my misery, or at least listen to me whine, but I would have settled for a hand to hold my hair back while I was trying to retch. And my first day back at work, I was on call. I love my life.

Now I have to go back to Trauma. Ah!

Last week I had two browser tabs open with round-trip tickets ready to be booked for Korea or LA. I was thisclose to clicking, but ended up closing both tabs instead. It's gonna be a week of vegging at home.

Jon and Bekah visited last week, and Sarah tagged along when they came to see Myung. Sarah's finishing up her senior year of college and looking into finding a job, but she hadn't changed a bit, still the little kid. Of course, the little kid was now engaged and talking about her wedding plans. What in the world. Myung told her to come to church, and she said that she would try. I didn't see her on Sunday.

I did see a lot of food, though. After church, we had a buffet brunch for Ravee's birthday. And for dinner, we had Lou Malnati's for James and Jane's farewell. I was telling Charlie how I had gained something like fifteen pounds in the past two years, and Artie said, "You do seem beefier." Thanks. I don't own a scale, so I don't keep track of how much I weigh, and now I don't particularly want to, either.

So is it ok for me to start losing track of my age, too? When I saw my dad a few weeks ago, he said, "It's about time for you to get married." And instead of laughing it off like I usually do, I just said yes. Time keeps flying by, and I feel just as immature as I've ever felt.

A couple of days ago, Myung, Artie, and I took Che to the Niles North parking lot and handed over the wheel. She is just learning to drive and we circled that parking lot like Conan circling Bieber. She parked and parked and parked some more, avoiding my toes and a Slurpee cup. Afterwards, we celebrated by taking her to Portillo's, where she could eat and dry off her sweat-soaked fleece. I'm usually not a sentimental person, but little Che's growing up.

I'm definitely not a touchy-feely person, either, but for whatever reason, I always make an exception for Bekah. Whenever I say goodbye, I hug her as tightly as I can, holding on until the heartbeat fades slowly into the past.

I'm out of control.

Parker came into town to visit for the weekend and we met up to talk, like we usually do. He still has girl issues - not problems, exactly, more like probabilities - while I have, well, I suppose I have issues in general.

He was telling me that he was thinking about applying to PhD programs because it might give him better opportunities, not just in the job market, but as a Christian, as well. It's good. Maybe he can find some inspiration and peace.

It may be a combination of winter doldrums, post-ABSITE ennui, and the unbearable lightness of being me, but I feel particularly uninspired nowadays. So what do I do to fill the time?

Kara Bakery.

So since I've been listening to KPop nonstop, I've also been watching all the music videos on YouTube. Clickety click from there, and I've been watching all these Korean shows. My new favorite band is opening a bakery in reality show style and I am all over it.

One unforeseen benefit is that my Korean seems to be improving slightly, possibly only in my head. However, that's enough for me to start tossing random Korean words around. I kept interjecting Korean into my conversations with Myung on Sunday and he was not amused.

Myung: Stop!

Me: What? Hangookmal em-beuh-rae-ees haeyahdae. (There was a lot of romanization of words I didn't know)

He: It's weird to hear you say it. You sound like a 20-year-old girl.

Understandable, considering my frame of reference, but I still threatened him that I would start tweeting exclusively in Korean. As Che would say, haters gonna hate.

I told Sharon about it, considering she sort of started this whole thing, and apparently I should not have. She found it alternately funny and creepy, in an age-inappropriate kind of way. It seemed a lot less embarrassing in private.

Still, she was supportive of me em-beuh-rae-ees-ing my culture and even suggested that I fly off to Korea during my vacation week later this month. That may be pushing it, but I did appreciate her messaging me a picture of Nicole earlier today. The changpee-ness of a guilty pleasure? This is mine.