The next time I mention anything about trusting God with my future, remind me that it never makes it any easier. Still, it doesn't leave much room for doubt.

Mr. D came to the VA last week with a cold left foot. Over the weekend, we tried having interventional radiology attempt thrombolysis with minimal success. This morning, with his foot still cold and no distal doppler signals heard, we decided to take him to the OR. It was a fairly long case, and I was post-call, so it seemed even longer. But when we injected contrast down his new bypass graft and I saw his foot light up like a Christmas tree with blood flow, it was a beautiful sight.

The long and winding road looks like it may soon become even longer and more winding, but, oh, the views along the way!

All of my previous experiences with vascular surgery were neutral at best, but I'm actually kind of enjoying my time here at the VA. Part of it definitely is due to CJ, the fellow on the service, who happens to be Korean-American, and seems to have taken a big brother-ish liking to me, but I'm starting to enjoy the instant-gratification-vs-instant-horror aspect of the specialty, as well. So, blood vessel surgeon? Definitely maybe.

This week I've also had a little time to play basketball again after a long hiatus. How long? I honestly couldn't remember the last time I played. Maybe sometime last year? Anyway, it was good to get some exercise, and I'm sure my achy body will forgive me later.

One of the recent Bethel newcomers, Benji, played both times and I got a chance to talk to him a little bit while driving him home. He's a Michigan transplant, still looking for work in the big city, and at 23, just a baby. He's big, goofy, impulsive, and a generally nice kid. It's a little weird to think that he's the same age as some of the youth group kids I used to teach. And within five minutes of meeting me, he offered to set me up with a noonah he knows from Michigan. At that point, he only knew that I was a doctor and that I drove a Lexus. So like I said, goofy and impulsive.

But the warmth and carefree flings of summer are passing now. Fall cometh to Chicago, so it's time to hunker down. Come and hunker with me.

For the first few days after coming back from vacation, I would come home from work and walk into my empty condo, and it felt strange. I had gotten used to being alone for so long that after spending two weeks coming "home" to human interaction, being alone felt, you know, lonely. And then I got used to it again.

When Myung and I had dinner with Karin last week, she tried to encourage us by saying that she thought we were "catches" because we were employed and weren't weird. I'm not sure I agree with the not-weird part, but I guess I'm just glad the bar is so low.

Then Myung sent this mass email out a couple of days ago:

I'm over at my parents' house watching Kanye West concert on their cable. During the commercial, there was some animal rescue video of pictures of abused animals with their names and how they were neglected. One of the cats in the video, named [Chase], had this description: Never loved and will die alone.

Let's make a rescue video with [Chase]. Same description.

My response:

This email makes me feel abused.

It's good to be back.

I used to have dreams of Korea when I was younger - of shigol and the river we had to cross and the hill directly behind the house, of Seoul and the school nearby and playing on the streets - and the half-remembered and half-formed places in these dreams were completed by my imagination until I didn't know how much of it was real and how much only existed in my mind. After all these years, even what was real then now only exists in my head, so this time I took pictures of everything I saw, that I would never forget my waking dream.